The Talk
by i fancy some honeydukes
Summary: Lizzy, Jane, Mr. Darcy, and Mr. Bingley are subjected to a conversation of the most dreaded kind...Regency P&P
1. Chapter 1

This is my first shot at a Pride and Prejudice fic, and it will be short, a two or three shot. At first it was going to be a one-shot, but I changed my mind at about...the end of this chapter. Fear not, I haven't abandoned my HP fics! But anyway, I hope you enjoy_ The Talk_, cheers!

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><p>Chapter 1: Of Walks &amp; Siblings<p>

It was a sunny day over Longbourn, and Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner sat in the parlor embroidering together while talking about the upcoming nuptials. After a short pause, Mrs. Gardiner said,  
>"Lizzy and Jane are going to be married in a week's time," she paused, as if trying to find the proper wording, "Perhaps...we, you and I, of course, should speak to her about," she paused again, urging her sister in law to draw the conclusion herself.<p>

Luckily for the younger woman, Mrs. Bennet had been quite expecting this. In fact, she was rather relieved that she would not have to subject her two eldest girls to this particular conversation alone.

"Thank goodness you mentioned this, Margret, I was rather afraid of subjecting the girls to this conversation myself," she said, much to Margret Gardiner's surprise. Jennie Bennet was never one to be nervous for anything, never mind something that lacked the certain amount of…propriety, this conversation would. Of course, Mrs. Bennet was not quite through speaking yet.

"Someone will need to speak with Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy as well, you know," she said thoughtfully. In the same breath, she answered Mrs. Gardiner's unspoken question, "Why, because neither of their fathers are around to speak with them on such matters of course!" she explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Perhaps I can get Mr. Bennet…" she mused, mostly to herself. Mrs. Gardiner, being several years younger and a good deal more sensible shook her head quickly and widened her eyes in horror.

"Oh, no Mrs. Bennet! You cannot have the girls' father speak to his daughters intendeds about…marital relations! They may very well die of embarrassment, should Mr. Bennet not run them through first," she shook her head, "No, no. I will have Edward speak to them. Although, men of their status, they ought to know what they're about," she trailed off, a faint blush gracing both hers and Mrs. Bennet's faces.

After a moment of silence, Mrs. Bennet spoke, "Well then it is settled. You and I shall speak with Jane and Lizzy, and my brother shall speak with Darcy and Bingley. We must do it today, for it is not even noon yet."

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><p>Lizzy and Jane sat on a stone bench outside, overlooking a vast meadow that resided next to Longbourn. They both understood that they were thinking similar thoughts: they were to leave the home of their childhood soon, for something unknown, but far greater. It was a strange, wonderful sort of goodbye that they were soon to face.<p>

If only they knew what the next few days had in store for them, they would have wished to sit on that stone bench forever. As it was, Jane turned to Lizzy.

"We are leaving in a week, Elizabeth dearest. I do wonder, how different and strange it is to leave everything we know!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, it is quite strange. Whatever shall I do without you to share my chambers with, Jane!" both girls laughed at the unnecessary drama that Lizzy had injected into her voice. Jane giggled a bit, before saying,

"Yes, however shall we be able to help with one another's ribbons again?" she laughed.

"I agree, because I am quite sure that neither Darcy nor Bingley, no matter their state and kindness and wealth, and even bearing the fact that they both have sisters, has any taste in what ribbon matches with what dress," Lizzy returned. She continued on a different vein, "How I shall miss you, dearest sister. But you must agree, it is strange _not_ having them with us right now, is it not?" she asked. Jane understood what she meant exactly.

"Shall we find Bingley and Darcy then?" she asked her sister. The two couples had been nearly inseparable from their respective fiancés since their engagements. Only when the two sisters needed quiet time together did the gentlemen take leave to talk about whatever it was that two gentlemen talked about. This morning was the first that the sisters had set out of Longbourn without them. Lizzy's eyes came back from whatever far away thought she had.

"Oh yes! It is a lovely day for a walk, is it not Jane?" she smiled, and Jane returned her sentiments. The two sisters rose at once, arm and arm, still smiling at their private jokes, to find the two soon-to-be-brothers.

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><p>"Bingley, how in God's name did you get me to agree to this?" a mildly irate Mr. Darcy said to his best friend. Charles Bingley continued to smile in earnest as he attempted, yet again, to skip a smooth stone across the glassy surface of a small pond.<p>

"Darcy, my dear fellow, you are my best friend! We are soon to be brothers!" he paused, and looked around to ensure no one could hear him, "And you must help me! You see, Jane and I are to be married in a week-"

"You seem to forget that it is nearly impossible that I forget the date of your wedding, as it is also the exact date as mine," Darcy smoothly cut him off, half out of exasperation, half out of excitement.

"Yes, yes. I know that. You know that," Bingley said again, nervously putting his words together. Darcy rolled his eyes. Why he had agreed to help find Elizabeth and Miss Bennet after Mrs. Gardiner had asked Bingley, he knew not. He knew what was coming next.

"You also know," his perpetually nervous and awkward friend continued, "That I promised Jane I would teach her how to skip a stone across the water. Oh, she was so thrilled at the idea, how could I say no!" he exclaimed dreamily. _A fool in love,_ thought Darcy._ But then, there are four fools in love here in Hertfordshire._

"How could you say no, you ask, Bingley?" he asked. Bingley flinched. This was the third time they'd had this conversation in the last hour since the two Miss Bennets had left. He knew what Darcy would say next.

"Perhaps, you could have said no, because you held the information, _that you do not know HOW TO SKIP STONES ACROSS THE WATER?"_ To be fair, Bingley thought, he _had_ tried Darcy's patience far too many times today. Perhaps he deserved to be yelled at, even in jest, by his best friend.

"But she is so beautiful when she is eager! Oh- no-," he colored slightly, at Darcy's gratified expression, "You know that is not what I meant!" he cried, "Miss Elizabeth has been quite an influence on your temperament. A year ago you would not have made such a joke," he said, shaking his head wearily.

Darcy simply replied, "Why Charles, I have said nothing. Perhaps it is the eldest Miss Bennet that has been an- ah- _influence_, if you are making such assumptions," Darcy's barely concealed laughter rang in his voice, as he watched his friend grow redder.

"Oh, do try and recede your blush, Bingley. I do not think your fiancée will find it very masculine," he said, turning his head.

"What in God's name are yo- Jane! I mean, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth! I did not see you approaching," Bingley said, as he grew redder still. Jane raised an eyebrow to the handful of stones that Bingley had just dropped behind his back, while greeting him warmly after the initial bows and curtseys. Elizabeth sent a questioning look towards Darcy, who answered back with a look that clearly meant, _I shall tell you later. It is well worth the wait,_ and a simple shrug of his shoulders. Elizabeth decided it was time to diffuse the strangeness of this situation.

"Jane and I were sitting on the bench overlooking Maybrook field," she announced, "and I declare, is it not a lovely day for a walk?" she asked the two gentlemen, one of whom was looking quite smug, and the other quite uncomfortable.

"Yes, do join us," Jane said sweetly, smiling at Mr. Bingley, whose face, by this point, matched his rather red hair very well. Darcy choked back laughter, hiding it in a coughing fit, as he offered his arm to Elizabeth.

"We would be _delighted_ to join you, Miss Bennets- though, you shall not be for very much longer," he laughed, still glancing at Bingley out of the corner of his eye, "It is a pleasant walk back to Longbourn, and I believe your aunt and uncle were looking to speak with you two, which is why we were sent to retrieve you," again, Mr. Darcy offered his arm, and this time, Bingley imitated this action toward Jane. Elizabeth smiled a very familiar smile towards Darcy.

"But Mr. Darcy, it was we who found you!" she laughed, "You have not done a very thorough job of looking, lest you thought Jane and I would be found in the pond," and this time, she was joined in laughter by a carefree Darcy, as a confused Jane and embarrassed Bingley looked on.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed! Two or three more chapters left, depending on how I decide to divide. Reviews, positive or negative, are always welcome!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the responses to chapter one of _The Talk_. Here is chapter two, hope you enjoy. I do not own Pride and Prejudice. Cheers!

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><p>"<em>Pardon, Mama?<em>"

A very confused Lizzy Bennet asked of her mother. She looked to her sensible aunt for confirmation of what she had just heard.

"Do not look to my sister, Lizzy, for it was her idea in the first place you know," Mrs. Bennet informed her daughter. Elizabeth and Jane exchanged incredulous glances again. Ten minutes previously, they had walked into Longbourn with Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. Upon their arrival, they were separated from the men by Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner, with no explanation. That is, until they were well out of earshot from them. Mrs. Bennet turned to her favorite daughter, who had turned as pale as a sheet upon hearing about the knowledge that was about to be bestowed on the two eldest of the Bennet sisters.

"Jane, dear, you must know," Mrs. Bennet comforted her oldest daughter, "After all, men of Mr. Bingley's and Mr. Darcy's station are in want of nothing but an heir!" she laughed. This statement really did nothing to comfort the docile Jane, and Lizzy squeezed her hand, silently telling her to just bear with the conversation that was about to arise. Mrs. Gardiner decided it was time to try and comfort her two nieces. Lizzy was being uncharacteristically quiet, and it was quite unnerving.

"Girls, do not worry about how untoward or improper this conversation will be. It is something every woman must be informed of before her wedding," she pause, smiling, "Beside the fact, Mr. Gardiner is speaking to Bingley and Darcy at this very moment too!" she said, hoping that the information that they were not alone would comfort them. Far from it Lizzy exclaimed:

"Our future husbands are being lectured on marital relations by our uncle? Good heavens, Darcy will be incapable of looking me in the eye for the next year! Never mind on the evening of our marriage!" while Jane blanched further still at the thought. Lizzy glanced at her sister, "Jane dear, you and Bingley complement each other very well. I am sure that at this moment he is turning quite red at the thought of _you_ not being able to look at _him_."

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><p>Three men sat in the sunny parlor of Longbourn decidedly staring at the embroidery Mrs. Gardiner had left on the table a few minutes prior. Darcy and Bingley had a general idea of what might be coming, and were not looking forward to it one bit.<p>

Mr. Gardiner, not even ten years his senior, sat on a chair across from the gentlemen. He cleared his throat, preparing to speak.

"My wife-"

"Good God man, do you mean to drive us away?"

Bingley jumped a little bit, not even allowing him to finish a sentence. Darcy rolled his eyes at his friend. Today, for the first time since Cambridge, did he feel the space of three years that separated them. This was not to say that he was wholly comfortable with this conversation himself.

"Are we going to allow Mr. Gardiner to finish a single sentence, Bingley?" he drawled to his friend, feigning the indifference he so dearly wished he felt. Bingley blushed, a little bit. _One of many to come within the next ten minutes, I am sure_, he thought to himself.

"Mr. Gardiner," he nodded his head toward the man, who looked equally daunted at the task of speaking on this particular topic.

"As I was saying, my wife," he gave a pointed look to Bingley, who was looking anywhere _but_ at Darcy or Mr. Gardiner, "has asked me to _speak with you on a certain topic. _I am quite sure, given your outburst Mr. Bingley, you have either deduced the nature of the conversation, or at least saw it coming," he finally finished the sentence.

All three men were looking down as Bingley and Darcy nodded.

"Is it…ah…wholly…necessary?" Darcy asked, trying to keep a straight face and voice. Mr. Gardiner, in the same tone, said:

"Mrs. Bennet surely seems to think so, as she is…er, lecturing Elizabeth and Jane at this moment," he said awkwardly.

"Good God. I shall not be able to look Elizabeth in the face for a fortnight," Mr. Darcy said under his breath, so only Bingley could hear. Bingley shook his head, like a dog trying to rid his ears of water.

"You shall not be able to look at Elizabeth? _Jane_ shall not be able to look at _me_ for the rest of our lives!" he exclaimed, blushing yet again at the prospect of facing Jane after this miserable conversation. Mr. Gardiner looked on the gentlemen with pity. This was decidedly the most trying conversation he had ever held.

"Surely- I mean, - surely you do not need a great amount of instruction?" he said quickly, trying to rid his mouth and brain of all thoughts as fast as possible. He chose to interpret the open mouthed stares of Darcy and Bingley as 'yes's and continued.

"That is not to say," he broke off awkwardly, looking around the room, "You two are, erm, not chaste?"

Mr. Gardiner silently cursed himself for his poor correction of his unintentional insult. Surprisingly, Bingley recovered first.

"Yes- I mean, sort of, that is to say, um, mostly," he stumbled. Well, it was a recovery for Bingley. His face was hardly two shades lighter than his hair.

_Mostly? How in God's name are we __**mostly **__chaste?_ _And why the hell is Bingley answering for me right now?_

Mr. Gardiner was staring at the two gentlemen skeptically.

_Merde._ Darcy thought to himself, shaking his head. "I do not believe I can follow up Bingley's eloquent answer without appearing a fool," Darcy paused, smirking slightly, and continued, "However, I must concede to say that Bingley is at least correct in saying 'Yes,'" he finished determinately looking at his hands. Mr. Gardiner was now looking out the window, as if something dearly interesting were happening outside. He chanced a look at the two gentlemen again.

"I think- I mean, that is to say, Mrs. Gardiner thinks, that it is best if I tell you…," he said in a rush, a Bingley like blush gracing his face as well as the two others.

_How we differ?_ A distraught Bingley thought to himself._ Surely he is not serious. _His distraught was clearly written across his face. He sent his friend a pleading look. Darcy rolled his eyes. It seemed that he was to be the one who said all things rational today. He took one look at Bingley, who was blushing profusely and probably trying to divert all thoughts from Miss Bennet, just as he was ridding his thoughts of Elizabeth. Mr. Gardiner continued to look around the room, and Bingley and Darcy followed suit.

Mr. Darcy found it upon his shoulders to speak.

"Mr. Gardiner, surely you do not expect that Bingley and I-" he was hurriedly cut off by the consistently red-faced Mr. Bingley, who said:

"No, Darcy. Do not include me in whatever 'Educated as a Cambridge man' speech you are about to make." This was the first sentence he had been able to utter without stuttering or blushing since they had entered the front parlor. Darcy raised an eyebrow at his friend, who continued.

"I mean, it is not as if…that is to say- um, well, it is quite, er, obvious?" he paused, looking at his friend for approval of his word choice, and continued when Darcy merely shook his head in confusion, "Er, obvious how men and women…erm, are not similar?" he finally finished his mess of a sentence. Mr. Gardiner decided it was time to put them out of their misery. Himself included.

"Gentlemen, I will be frank with you right now. As terrifically trying this is for you, imagine how it is for me, having to speak to you about my nieces?" he up talked, as if he was still unsure of his words. He continued nonetheless, "Jane and Elizabeth," both men turned red, as it was the first time their respective fiancées had been mentioned through this entire conversation, "have been trained their entire lives to live under the rules of propriety. Do not mistake me. This is a good thing, but it means that…er…on your….er….wedding night," here, Bingley started to cough violently and Darcy absent mindedly took a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to him. They waited until Bingley started to breath normally again.

"By all means, continue," the red haired and faced man said without conviction. Darcy rolled his eyes as Mr. Gardiner continued.

"Er, well yes. On your _wedding night_," he threw a sharp look at Bingley, "Do not frighten them. I guarantee they will be frightened, and anything you try to say will be twisted into something to be held against you years down the road," he shook his head, and Mr. Darcy guessed that he was telling them this from experience.

"Also," he continued, wringing his hands together and staring at a painting on the opposite wall, "It will hurt for them," he broke off, looking as uncomfortable as the two younger gentlemen. Bingley made a squeaking noise in the back of his throat. "It is just something I thought you ought to know," his face finally relaxed, and Darcy took that as a good sign that this conversation was about to end.

"I think, you will figure out the rest for yourselves, gentlemen," and he stood up abruptly, bowed, and quickly strode out of the room. Darcy made to get up. Bingley sat motionless on the couch.

"Well, that could not have gone any worse," Darcy said, shaking his head slightly. Bingley finally looked up, and they both started to leave the room, having no desire to return any time in the near future. As they were leaving, Bingley said:

"Yes, the only thing that could make this experience worse is seeing-" he was cut off by the sight of two figures a few feet down the hall. The two men abruptly stopped, as did the two Bennet sisters. Jane was blushing profusely, matching Bingley. Elizabeth was determinedly avoiding his eyes. Darcy started to speak, once again finding that it was his responsibility to diffuse the situation.

"Well, I think it is in the best interest for both parties if Bingley and I were to return to Nether-" _he _was cut off by a nervous, blushing Bingley.

"Would you like to accompany us on a walk, Miss Bennet? Miss Elizabeth?" he asked hurriedly, as if he'd said it without thinking.

The three others in the hall gave him horrified looks, but could not deny the simple request without feeling quite rude.

_Good God. _Mr. Darcy thought as the two couples walked side by side, careful not to touch, and not saying anything, _what in God's name did they discuss? Surely it was not half as awkward as our conversation._ He and Elizabeth brushed elbows, very slightly. Elizabeth reddened, and Darcy did as well.

_Bingley's paranoia has spread to all now,_ a slightly irate Mr. Darcy thought to himself, shaking his head as they continued in the most awkward walk of their courtships to date.

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><p>fear not, there will be a third installment, perhaps even a fourth if I feel the story hasn't wrapped itself up by then. We still need to hear about the girls' talk, don't we? Reviews are welcomed, and may even get me to update faster! just kidding. sort of.<p>

-ifshoneydukes


	3. Chapter 3

Final installment of _The Talk_! i hope you enjoy it. All credit to the wonderful Jane Austen. cheers!

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><p>Elizabeth and Jane slowly followed Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner into the room the two girls had shared for the last twenty years. Lizzy whispered to her sister:<p>

"I do not believe we will be able to sleep in this room after this talk, Jane," she said nervously. Jane shook her head at her sister.

"How can you be joking at a time like this?" she asked, half incredulous. "How can you be so calm when they are about to have _this_ conversation with us, and when we know that our uncle has _Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy_ with him _talking about marital relations_,_" _Jane looked like she had half a mind to run out of the room and never stop.

"I am not calm, my dear sister. I am anything but. But, as it is, wit is the only way I believe either of us will be able to survive this particular conversa—"

"What are you girls talking about?" Mrs. Bennet screeched in their direction. "You know, you must know what we need to talk to you about. Your wedding night," she said, the faint blush that graced her cheeks the only sign that this conversation would be mildly uncomfortable for anyone in the room.

"Mama, must we really speak about this?" Jane asked quietly. Jane was always more quiet than Lizzy, but now she also sounded much graver than usual.

"Yes, yes," their mother answered, "It is an unfortunate but necessary duty. At least you have your mother to tell you about it! Imagine the chagrin of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy at this moment!" she said. Lizzy imagined that their mother was trying to make Jane feel better, but contrary to the soothing effect the words were meant to have, Jane blanched further still. Lizzy blushed, thinking about having to face Mr. Darcy after their two separate ordeals.

"Well, best to get on with it, then," their sensible aunt said through the awkward silence. "I shall go first, unless there is something you want to say first, Jennie," Mrs. Gardiner looked at her sister.

"No, no. Go ahead. Goodness knows my brother has already started to lecture the two gentlemen downstairs," she said flippantly.

"Well, then girls. Prepare yourselves for what you are about to hear: everything you have ever been taught about propriety does not apply in marriage," Mrs. Gardiner stated matter-of-factly. Lizzy looked at her, expecting more. When she said no more, Lizzy finally looked up and nodded. Satisfied, Mrs. Gardiner continued.

"Men are…quite different from women," she started. Lizzy looked at Jane.

"Surely we could have figured that out ourselves," she whispered, trying to set her sister at ease. Then she proceeded to say that aloud for her mother and aunt to hear.

"Lizzy, Mr. Darcy will surely not tolerate your cheek for very long," Mrs. Bennet huffed, "A man of his status is in want of a quiet, obedient wife," she said knowledgeably. Lizzy then said that on the contrary, Mr. Darcy had fallen in love with her for her wit, and that she had no intention of quitting the use of it, even on their marriage night.

"Which brings us back to the subject at hand, ladies," Mrs. Gardiner said pointedly. Lizzy sighed inwardly. She thought that she had sufficiently distracted them from this unpleasant conversation. "As I was saying, your future husbands may not understand fully the problems you may have, my dears."

Lizzy tried to wrap her head around the problems she may have. Jane tried very hard to not think of anything at all.

"What…problems…might those be, aunt?" Lizzy asked slowly, painfully. She wanted to get this conversation over as soon as possible.

"Well, such as your courses, Elizabeth," her mother answered matter-of-factly. Jane blushed deeply, as stark contrast from her former pallor. Lizzy briefly wondered if she should worry about her sister fainting. "Men do not have all that much knowledge on the matter of womanly things, as much as they have a mind for business. Even ask your Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth." Lizzy had no intention of doing so. "They simply do not understand the way women's bodies' work, which brings me to the next issue. One that is perhaps far more important."

'Important,' was not a word Lizzy wanted to hear in respect to this conversation.

"It will be painful, your first time," Mrs. Gardiner said quickly, to spare her nieces from hearing that sentence from their mother.

"I think this is all we need to survive our marriages. Jane and I must leave now," Lizzy said hurriedly as she grabbed Jane's hand and they quickly left the room, as their mother called out. As they were hurrying, Lizzy quite missed the fact that there were two other people making their escape out of the house. For the second time in her life, she almost ran straight into Mr. Darcy. She determinedly avoided his eyes and thought it might be best for them to return to Netherfield for the remainder of the day. Mr. Darcy spoke, not looking at Elizabeth, but rather, behind her.

"Well, I think it is in the best interest for both parties if Bingley and I were to return to Nether-"

"Would you like to accompany us on a walk, Miss Bennet? Miss Elizabeth?" Mr. Bingley quickly interrupted Mr. Darcy, who looked quite agitated with his friend.

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><p>The four of them set out on the path of the gardens that was usually taken by Elizabeth and Jane on sunny days. Jane and Mr. Bingley stood a foot away from each other, walking side by side. Elizabeth was walking closer to Mr. Darcy, but when their elbows brushed, both of them blushed profusely.<p>

_I do not think I am capable of surviving this walk_, Elizabeth thought to herself. She looked ahead at Jane and Mr. Bingley, who were not talking either. _I am determined to act normal. We cannot continue this way because of a simple talk!_

"Mr. Darcy," she said clearly. He looked at her in surprise, as if he had not been expecting her to speak. She could not blame him. She had not been planning on speaking.

"I think that if we left Jane and Mr. Bingley it would be sufficiently less awkward. We insist on exchanging knowing looks and horrified glances in each other's company, you see," Elizabeth explained as Jane turned around to shake her head violently, and Bingley turned also to mouth the words _please, no_ in the direction of Mr. Darcy. Secretly, he also thought that he and Elizabeth should clear the awkward air that they had about them, and that it would be helpful for Ms. Bennet and Bingley to do so too. They could not, however, do that in the presence of one another. That would solve nothing.

"Yes, I quite agree with you…Elizabeth," he said, pausing before he said her name to keep himself from stuttering. "I think perhaps you and I should walk towards the lake, then, Ms. Elizabeth," he said, looking at the ground rather than his fiancée.

"Yes, and you and Mr. Bingley should perhaps walk to the field then, Jane?" she said, trying to calm Jane down as she said the words. Panic was written over both hers and Mr. Bingley's face. Without waiting for an answer, Elizabeth said, "Well yes. Mr. Darcy and I will be on our way now. Good day for the time being."

The couple walked towards the lake in relative silence. There was a clear air of discomfort. Finally, when Elizabeth had just about had enough of the silence and almost spoke, Mr. Darcy said:

"I have never been subjected to any such conversation, you know. We may as well clear the air now," he said nervously. Elizabeth was surprised. This conversation was not something that she wanted to have with him, yet…she had to, she knew. She looked at him, examining his face.

"Mr. Darcy, what exactly did you and my uncle discuss?" she asked curiously. He blushed profusely. She realized that she was blushing as well.

"That is…not of importance! No, no. You see, Bingley and I both lost our fathers before they could…ah, inform us of such matters. Or give us a book on such matters, which would have been wholly appreciated," he muttered the last part of the sentence, not really intending for Elizabeth to hear. Of course she did anyway. She laughed. She stopped smiling when he said:

"What did your mother and aunt talk to you and Ms. Bennet about?"

Without thinking, she blurted out:

"Our courses."

_Wonderful_, Elizabeth thought to herself. They were both blushing and avoiding the other's eye, all because she had not had the wisdom to _keep her mouth shut_ about womanly ailments. Mr. Darcy was still looking at the ground when he gave a short cough. She looked up.

"You know, when, erm, Georgiana was afflicted, we thought she was dying," he said off-handedly.

Elizabeth could not help but laugh, and she laughed and laughed until tears were starting to stream down her face. He looked at her with indignity.

"Can you really place the blame on us? How were we to know? It was awful…" he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Elizabeth only laughed and shook her head.

"How did you find out that she was fine? How did _she_ find out that she was fine?" Elizabeth asked curiously.

"Mrs. Reynolds. She found one of the dresses Georgiana had hidden…and explained it to us. Together," he shook his head, trying to rid his thoughts of the conversation he was clearly remembering.

"Although," he added thoughtfully, "That conversation was nowhere near as horrific as the ones I am sure we both suffered through today."

Elizabeth finally looked him in the eye, and he did not look down. She linked hands with him.

"No, I highly doubt that there ever was or ever will be a more embarrassing talk than _those_." They exchanged a glance that meant the exact same thing.

"Shall we never speak of these conversations to each other again?" Mr. Darcy asked her carefully.

"No, no. We shall not," Elizabeth answered.

And with that, they set off to find Jane and Mr. Bingley, who would surely be sitting on the bench by the field with three feet of space between them.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please review! I am in the process of writing a full length modern P&amp;P fic, so leave a comment in the review if you have any interest in that! thanks for reading!<p>

-ifshondeydukes


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